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Gonzo the Hero Vs. Woodsy the Creep (PG-13)

(October 29, 2018)


I call Gonzo my Fur Hero a lot, but tonight he lived up to his name! Gonzo and I went on a hike in Deer Creek Canyon. As, I was letting him out of the car, I noticed a DVD on the ground nearby. "That's an odd thing to find here." I thought.


The visible side of the DVD showed a picture of a pleasant lady holding open her gaping abyss to let me know I had just discovered a film of the adult-type genre. Not really wanting to touch it or look at it anymore, I flipped it over with my foot so that it was shiny side up.


Maybe I should clarify that. The side that was up did not have a picture on it..


Gonzo and I had a great hike and, as we returned to the car, a bearded guy, brunette, about 5’10 and in his 30s emerged from the woods.


From the woods?!


When he saw me, he had a look that most females know means you either need your dog, your gun, or to run really fast. I quickly thanked my Lord and Savior that I had JUST taken Gonzo’s muzzle off.


Creepy guy started walking toward us asking me questions like, “Do you live around here?” “What are you doing up here?” “Is your dog a Rottweiler?” (Seriously?) As he continued closer, I felt it best to wait to put Gonzo in the car, so that I was not left unprotected.


I politely told the guy I lived close and that Gonzo and I had been hiking a nearby trail. He said he lived in the area...I think by “area” he just meant the woods.


"Woodsy" noticed the DVD on the ground about 2 feet from my car and picked it up. Suddenly, Gonzo began yelling, “Pervert! Pervert!!” and started lunging toward him.


Gonzo loves people but NOT this guy! (He is so smart!) Woodsy began screaming at me about how I needed to get my "effing dog" out of there; I wasn’t welcome up there; and that there were no hiking trails nearby (you could spit and almost hit the trail we had just hiked.)


Woodsy kept howling at me to get my "effing dog" out of there as I was waiting for him to get far enough away for me to feel safe enough to put Gonzo in the car.

He continued caterwauling at me as he walked away, so I politely said, “Okay, have a nice day!”


Woodsy turned around and screamed, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” I repeated my pleasantry, thus enticing him to start walking toward us again. Gonzo was on full alert and yelled at him to back off!


I warned Woodsy he probably shouldn’t come any closer, but he continued toward us and threatened to sue me if Gonzo bit him. (Hilarious!!! Yes, please sue me for my turnip blood!)


Woodsy dared me to let Gonzo off the leash to see what would happen. Oh, how tempting!!! What a beautiful feast it would have been for Gonzo.


Woodsy finally decided to leave and, as he did, I loudly praised Gonzo for being such a good boy; wished the gentleman well while enjoying his porn; then quickly sped away.


So ladies, if you’re hiking in Deer Creek Canyon anytime soon, be sure to take a “vicious” dog, or a gun, or both. This guy was not right.



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